aminuteformyself

2010-01-13T10:38:00.000+08:00

wont be blogging anymore.
TAKE CARE PEOPLE

2010-01-07T22:39:00.001+08:00

when i looked back at my past post, i realised that theres alot of your picts there. we might not be together but can you like say hi to me or smt? pls?

2010-01-05T12:23:00.002+08:00

firstly, Happy new Year world!...

i celebrated my new year back in KL. and yezza! i got my DKNY necklace that someone bought me repaired all the way back there. fcuk. i think im gonna delete my bloggie soon.

2009-12-21T17:20:00.002+08:00

i must say there are really lucky people in this world. i guess back in my past life, i could have enjoyed life so much that god made me live with more restrictions now. i am a karma for the stuffs ive done in my past life. Maybe people like Heidi Klum or Kate Moss was succha a fugly woman back then, that now they are born... beautiful. or maybe. people like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan had succha hard, stuffy life, 1 that needs more airing - so god actually sympathized them for their current life and allow some space. sadly, they misuse em. haha!

Life is not fair.

2009-12-16T21:55:00.001+08:00

What if this step goes all wrong?? Dear J.C... prove me wrong please

2009-12-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

cheesecake brownie ben and jerry's ice cream is succha heaven. thank you. =]

2009-12-09T12:52:00.002+08:00

ok. now im right here in bishan library for the 2nd time of the week cos y? class cancelled.. i woke up frm an annoying noise (mum), got nagged at, got cursed, for going late to school and now when im like right there in class for barely only 15 mins, all classes are officially cancelled today. wow. i like....

mum decided to confiscate my laptop. fcuker. my bf sia that one. one who accompany me day and night. sad or happy. now..

im lost and dunno where to head to. definitely not home. Boo~

2009-12-08T16:35:00.002+08:00

1) shuffle your music to shuffle mode
2) press next for each ques, and right down the song title
3) no matter how lame the ans is, just write it down.HEE!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Bitter heart - zee avi

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Thinking of you - katy perry

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Drop it low - Ester dean feat chris brown

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
right round - flo rida

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Bottle pop-pussycat dolls

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Just dance -lady gaga

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Damaged- danity kane

WHAT IS 2+2?
daughters. ahhaha! - john mayer

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
run it - chris brown

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
We made you - eminem

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Boom Boom Shake Shake

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
day and night -kid cudi

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
way i are - timbaland

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
imma flirt - bow wow

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Get sexy ahaha - sugababes

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
3 - britney spears

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Take your shirt off. hahahahahahh! - T pain

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Wontt go home without you - maroon 5

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I kissed a girl. haha - katy perry

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Kiss me thru the phone. - soulja boy

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
mama do (uh oh uh oh) - pixie lott

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
I can transform ya - chris brown

see la... boring boring do stupid quiz.... hahaha

2009-12-07T14:20:00.004+08:00

I rushed to school today morning at about 8 am, took a cab, paid 12 bux to the uncle n off to class. and later. class was.....CANCELLED. thanks. appreciate it... =]

i was kindda lost after school. evrybody left the school excluding me. i didnt know where to go to. didnt wanna go home cos mum would think i skip school and what more she paid for me the taxi fare. i dont usually have this kind of problems back then cos i will always know who to approach to. blablabla. k STOP! so i went to bishan library instead. studied for tomorrow's MICE test and borrowed books after that. and....head home. BORING! get me an ang moh bf pls? hahahha

ok here another great movie. super hilarious. u gotta check it out. this movie is like..u kno..ages ago.but yeah...who cares.go check it out...:

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

check it out!..

2009-12-04T13:58:00.002+08:00

ive been having movie marathon on my own lately (ive been doing things on my own and i cnt believe this!) . and out of all the movies, im liking these 2 movies:

Te Quiero!

I LOVE IT!!!

2009-11-24T09:28:00.002+08:00

Im missing you granpa. may your soul rest in peace. I have no idea how long ive been abandoning my blog. cos i dont have the mood to. ive been a real moody girl. any party khakis?

2009-11-05T21:37:00.002+08:00

Happy 28th birthday to my sister. may your wishes come true. may your wedding next year be a sucessful one.

I woke up today having a "tembel" on my eye. errgh. so i decided not to go school today.

mates

2009-11-02T18:31:00.005+08:00

small i know. but lazy to make it bigger uh. sorry eh.

Lets do abit of backtracking... ok lets see..

on saturday..

soccer girls were instructed to attend this campaign over at Plaza Singapura called the pink ribbon- breast cancer. we were supposed to do an hour cycling cardio excercise and yes. it was tiring and lotssa fun..

and later after that...went to haji lane to meet up with the soccer guys [alumni(s)] and sheesha-d. great fun. thanks to ____ for asking me to tag along. :))

ps: in your dreams fcukers!

2009-10-30T11:48:00.003+08:00

im so bored that now, ive decided to do nothing but blog and youtube. ok now.

starting from the latest news.... congratulations to my dearest college central girls for achieving 3rd placing for our intercollege football tournaments. our hard work, countless fighting spirits and supports paid off. =] (will upload the picts soon.) dee a

ok, now i remembered going to vicky's sister wedding dinner, so i actually managed to ykno go to the dinner and ___________ fetched me from work and ma mum n dad sent us there. congratulations to the couples, may god bless you with smart kids and blessful future. =]

2009-10-23T18:12:00.004+08:00

yesterday.

1) i skipped school. idk y. but i went to peninsular with alfian to play guitar hero. kental i knw...no need to say.. hahah.

2) al-fatihah to ur grandmother my dear boy. may she rest in peace. may god allow her soul rest peacefully in heaven. may god accept her soul as a true muslim. amin.

3) kcuf u bitch. kcuf-ing coward. biar muker mcm sundal tap prangai tkmo sundal. KKPLB ah kcuf-er. wa rasa lu gi cebok muka lu. muka lu da mcm taik!

today.

1) school was short but ok.

2) had long chat with The abc(s)

3) AFEEEQ go and fcuking move on bro. that madeline is lack of attention.lack of money.lack of love. .

4) no money no money no money. is that all you ever say dad?

5) fcuk you guys. stop making my life miserable. stop nagging. let me go!

6) Brothers...lets move it while its hot. amaciam??????

7) selling off the exilim digi camera for 300 bucks.

8) selling off the acer lap top for 555.

-xoxo-

pass it to me!

2009-10-20T21:08:00.004+08:00

aniway. had street soccer match jus now. awesome!!!! and ya.. the weather is killing me nowadays. gosh..so hot. heaty. green house effect la this 1. tsk! am having sun burn and it itch!!

2009-10-17T22:24:00.002+08:00

FRI:

i was so freaking confident that im supposed to work yesterday and was proud of maself for being early to work. but as soon as i reached at swarovski, they said im nt supposed to work yest..its supposed to be nxt week. so ya. me being slenger evrytime! couldnt blame ma incharge either. gossh!! fasha!!! gundooo!! aniway so ya, met coach n watched "The Ugky Truth" since both of us have nt watch it. nice movie..i loike! *lick fingers* ceyh2! hahahha! and later proceeded to BK for our dinner and then to merlion walk to chill. hahha..fun.. sorry brace face for not meeting you..wanted to but someone needed to talk to me abt some stuffs. sorry..will go out with you another time ok dear brace face??

SAT:

went to work iver at swarovski and brace face made me smile ma last sleepy hours of working. aww..u daymn cute la..i swear! ahhaha.. thanx2.

aniway.. now im opening up my senses, my eyes and wadever that i shouldnt allow people to make choices for me. im so mad with mum. You have no idea how mad. Fcuktub family. *show middle finger*

Lets get the party started

2009-10-15T02:58:00.004+08:00

This is Henna, and i swear i love dancing with her. hahaha

Mad and fazzy

That is Jeremy. i like this picture. sweet right? hahah

Today was such a busy unscheduled day/night. First thing which i remembered was awaken by mum screech cos i was still sleeping at 11 when im supposed to be in school. and the next thing i remembered was, after i reached school, class waS cancelled. i tell u, i was pissed la, but then some friends wanted me to tag along to city hall and play gutar hero at peninsular. and when i reached there we were nt allowed to enter cos they said tat "its the singapore rule that students with uniforms on are nt allowed to go into any kind of arcade'. and so later we actually bumped into this shop which sells t shirt ranging from 1.90-3.90, and its kindda nice though. so we bought em and VOLA! we get to play guitar hero.

and later went home and planned to go party with Fazz and gang, so yeah, i went out earlier and met ajim to go shopping, and met Fazz later that night. so ya, we went to rebel, and this is my freaking first time partying and i enjoyed it soo much i swear. i dun rilli get to go out n stuffs, so i actually make sure that i had fun and spent my time there wisely, and yeah i really did. so ya big thank you to fazz for asking me along

2009-10-12T19:03:00.003+08:00

There so many events that i wanted to update abt.lets see. i remember going to a neighbour's birthday party, fun n great. k den i remember going for Phobia 2 with that guy up there, then i also remember going out with ajim and gang to jalan raya. and i remember going to azu's birthday pit...

aniway yesterday my sissy was being sooo nice and bought me a watch, ear rings, friendship band...and a dress from hula n co. (^_^)

first day of sch was boring, we had to meet up over at paym for some presentation and i skipped the crap tgether with hafiz later that day. but im kindda glad though that school reopens, atleast i got smt to do for the rest of the day. unlike the hols.

nxt, i proceed to outram to collect my pay at this particualr company, and after working for 2 days like a dawg getting F here n dere, they paid me only $43.like what? r u kidding me? im supposed to get abt more than 150? hello? eating up my $$ after i worked like a dawg for you. im so gonna complain! boo!

2009-10-07T00:39:00.002+08:00

school is starting soon..wah soo sian. && so yesterday..i was supposed to go to work with fazz at hyatt hotel but instead we paitao the work instead cos they're mean people. hahah..go work w/o workers k..i shall let u feel hw its like nt appreciating ppl like us. we're not d

met fazzy's friend, jeremy..nice to meet you..=]

departure hall

2009-10-05T02:58:00.002+08:00

someone is going off to the phillipines today. get back home safely and fast! so sorry am nt able to send you to the the airport later. thanks for the cake just now. love it. have fun && take care sweets.

busy days of syawal

2009-10-04T00:23:00.003+08:00

ape kau bikin la setan.

ehhh.si dekni.hahah

we came with a whole a big bus! sungguh kecoh la!

baju melayu on! heels on! make up on! on the bus we goooo! haha. been bz with raya outings. and oh boy, dun talk about the collection -_-.

wed - IEU berhari raya (on mini bus!)

Thurs- work at St. Regis and out with E

Fri - The Usual out beraya

Sat - kicking off the raya with the football girls and guys! (yg ni plak mau dtg satu bus besar..hhaa)

Sun- work at swarovski

and i swear im freaking damn exhausted. im sleepy right now..so? wtf am i blogging? hahahha.. picts will be uploaded soon. chiow. i wanna rest yo'

2009-10-03T01:24:00.000+08:00

Dear E,

you make my heart go boom boom boom. ❤

2009-09-28T21:11:00.002+08:00

"Joyful, Joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
God of glory
Lord of love
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee
Hail Thee as the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Giver of immortal gladness
Fill us with the light
Fill us with the light
Oh, fill us with the light of day......

the all time favourite singer.lauryn hill.

shagged

2009-09-28T03:54:00.003+08:00

time checked: 4 am

&& i've jus reached home from work. you have no idea how tired i am, only god knows how im feeling right now. weird feeling about the working environment. i worked for 2 days straight at 2 diff hotels. both of em has similar ways of treating stuffs and colleagues... F here.F there.F evrywhere.....and F u! haha. (ok.that was not needed).. i tthought we're supposed to respect each other no matter hw high your rank is????. n it wasnt a pleasant thing to hear while working. tsk

yo

2009-09-25T16:42:00.002+08:00

yo sista'..

Did ya have an awesome time? Did ya drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness? if yes.. woah awesome aye sis??
Did ya have that awesome feelin' coming up to me and awesomeleey tell me off? ha ha ha.. At least i kno' im mean. but sis..Ya try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I have no problems with you and y should i?".. from the lines that ive read between all these stuffs, indeed ya gota gigantic prob ,yo sis. i didnt knw imma hella big prob.

yo sis..i know ya readin' this, i know ya been coming up for more. Just becauz ya ratin' or AGE are bigger doesn't mean ya better. let me tell this sis...Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated. so you dont have ta pretend..ok sis?

peace out.

2009-09-24T23:05:00.001+08:00

WOW. suchha coincidence. many people facing the same problems. on ez get "eve".

2009-09-23T22:42:00.001+08:00

how heartbreaking. it was cancelled on me again. for the fourth time. how demoralising. so sad. real sad. i knew i shouldnt have look forward to it. damn bloody polictics.

ramadan

2009-09-22T01:53:00.005+08:00

sis n mum

feast!

sisters

me and lovely bro

me n the sis

54321! BLAST OFF

rocket!

style ehh. i like..this things will burst/explode 10 times! haha

this is called the lampu lekor/ colok. they usually put 12 of these things infront of their houses

as muchas i hated going back to kampong, i hate uploading picts too. hahah. but its ok...

we went kampong 2 days before raya. and at 12 am sharp (ramadan) we played with fire crackers and rockets and sparkles. fun...only by the night... but by the day..its freaking hot.. which i hated. haha. i wanted to go home soooo much. and now. im home! it feels good to be home. :)..

im soo concerned about my fight on sunday. urgh!

2009-09-18T16:00:00.002+08:00

goin off after buka later. ee..im so not looking forward to it la.. gosh.

anyway people...an advance wish from me.. eid mubarak to evrybody. maaf zahir batin. .

see u in a couple of days lata...=]

2009-09-18T00:26:00.001+08:00

training was super tiring laaa...
balik kampong tmr. eee..i dun like!

2009-09-16T05:04:00.002+08:00

people go && memories stays. Different people leave behind different histories, that will make you giggle evrytime you think of em. or to be specific, it either make you smile or disturbed...

aniway im looking forward on the 27th for another fight @ fightwork. ive not been training hard for it, cos i wouldnt wanna leave hopes for myself like i did for the last 2 fights which was cancelled. its frustrating and irritating.

i wonder how grandpa is doing back in malaysia. whether he's fine or not. ive been thinking about him lately, like how he is treated there.did he eat well? sleep well? idk.

2009-09-14T10:05:00.002+08:00

somebody says to sissy that shes the fire starter regarding whatever happened with me & _______.. i would ofcorse agree cos she could have just keep the mean comment to herself. well she always does that whenever she angry. Whatever that happens, whatever misunderstanding, whatever quarells that ive gone thru with _______ ,i would ofcorse would wanna ignore, especially when i told the person that this is wasting my time,like totally. cos _______ isnt a problem for me. infact im happy. im outragously happy, freedom is mine. freedom to make choices.isnnt it true. freedom is yours too right? so ya. its an advantage to the both of us. i see no lost for my side. i bet its the same to your side.

2009-09-12T21:17:00.003+08:00

working at Swarovski was enjoyable. i love the working environment and collegues. The accessories are all eye catching..i couldnt resist em myself. i want to get 1 of those man.. i love the crystals..the diamonds..oh boy i would wanna get a diamond ring there on my wedding day.hahah.. looking forward on my next working day.. && F1 training tomorrow.. money money!! come to mummy!!!

2009-09-11T13:27:00.002+08:00

i wanna join pilates please...! :( mum? dad? please i want i want i want!!!! *stamps foot* if i work for it, i might probably have no time for football, work, school && muay thai. at all :(

2009-09-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

soccer training was tiring but fun. and today i went for the F1 interview. and..swarovski called again..im starting work on saturday!! yeah!! rezeki datang sekali gus...alhamdulillah....

2009-09-09T17:23:00.002+08:00

at last after such a long time losing my specs.. i managed to get a new one. it looks funny on me but its ok. atleast i got a pair to be worn at home. haa.. anyway..wont be bloggin much..will be right back to blog.. stay tune. =] hurhur

2009-09-08T15:44:00.002+08:00

suddenly, shockingly...i miss my secondary school moments. i miss my peeps. i miss reccess..its way better than my tertiary school reccess.. i remember the food fights we had. and the head councillor chasing us from nowhere to force us do our reccess duties. and the worse part! i miss doing maths! omg..i miss goin to the science lab to do experiment. i miss evrything! i miss sports day!! hais.. im missing so many people now incldn.."you."( if only u knw tat i was reffering to you)

i called you the oher day cos i wanted to ask you out. but instead someone else pick the call. i wasnt shock just curios. maybe i should put a full-stop here . i dowanna continue. hais.

aniway. i received a call from swarovski... && they're hiring me.yay!!!

congrats

2009-09-07T12:43:00.002+08:00

first of all, i wanna congrats this bro here for having a new girlfriend. May you guys last and share many great moments together. Well you're a great history, i had great times with you and i know you dont really have 1 with me. but its ok. i still do love you as my friend. =]

How time flies. yeah. it hit me hard. had trouble sleeping. idk why.

busy day

2009-09-06T23:10:00.003+08:00

work in progress! haha

spent my day cleaning the room, did some DIY stuffs and painted the room. was tired but had fun. atlast! my rooms had colors on it..its in green and yellow. i wanted pink though, but didnt wanna waste $$ on paints. so ya its ok.

2009-09-05T20:22:00.003+08:00

Back, after days not updating my entries. && yes as promised, i went to meet The Classics yesterday after succchh a long time since i met them. had break fast at geylang and off to Grandlink to karaoke. had fun singing at the top of our voice. =)

Fasting month is really a month that actually tested my patience. Gosh, i have no idea how many times i got angry already....

i wanna go back to training.. :(

ARGGH

2009-08-31T17:23:00.000+08:00

EXCITED TO MEET DEAR GIRLFRIENDS.

dear god

2009-08-27T23:11:00.003+08:00

went to visit dear coach just now. he wasnt feeling that good. i didnt talk that much when i visited him, maybe i was just too sad. maybe sad is just too vague. i really pray he's

gonna get well soon. please god..he dont deserve this really. he's a nice guy, a nice friend, a great coach. please, save him...

Faith is all you need

2009-08-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

Its almost a week since i the day i went to m.t trainings. Im just so tired and shagged. They said he's going back soon. Ive been staying away from him so that things wouldnt get worse. i hope its the right choice. But sometimes im trying too hard that i wanted more instead. its hard realy.

My dear coach is admitted to hosp now, heard that his condition is getting worse. tuberculosis isnt something to be joke around. Its something. We the college central football teams, both girls and guys were strong enough to be there for him, and did some prayers for him. Its not a very good sight or a pleasant news to hear seriously. everybody is worried. I hope that you'll get better soon. amin.

2009-08-24T21:35:00.000+08:00

I went to interviews today. if you realised its (S). that means i went to 2 interviews. Dad is gonna go thru another financial crisis again. && somehow somewhat im feeling the impact too. with the curtains and raya clothings and all the neccesities, i bet its hard for him. i wanna help him by paying my own hp bills. buying stuffs on my own and stuffs. i dowanna be a burden. =[

im in football mood now. which means i cannt wait to train harder for our inter college football match.=]
& as for m.t, theres a fight coming, but im not gonna put hopes on this cos 2 matches of mine were cancelled. hurh.cheat my feelings.hehe

happy fasting

2009-08-23T13:25:00.000+08:00

This is the 2nd time of the fasting month that im not allowwed to fast, physically. But that doesnt mean that im not fasting. cos a girl/woman who is not allowed to fast physically are actually excused by God, but they're actually fasting indirectly/mentally. which means they should also respect the month of ramadan by not smoking, drinking or whatsoever.. so girls don't make menstruation as an excuse for you not to respect the month. =]

Happy Fasting Muslims!

2009-08-19T10:58:00.002+08:00

Im stuck here in school with 3 fucking hours of free period in school. i could have sleep longer at home. my mind is stilll in its "off" mode. && im not looking forward for the bloody design class.

2009-08-18T13:28:00.002+08:00

Im in the stoopit fucktub design class. We were told to compile all of our pass designs. stoopit. i only have less than 40 out of the 48 assignments.. what does that means? i have to redo? cb bloody farktard!!! im soooo fuck fuck fuck fucktubbbbbbbbbb!!!!!!!! urgh!

Hungry?

2009-08-14T09:02:00.003+08:00

i swear i was dragging my feet to school just now. im so tired. so sleepy. so shagged. && now the stupit design class is freaking pissing me now..y? cos theres another assignment. Its like a loan...u pay 1 day && another day theres more. tsk! irritating.

&& oh ya i remembered. i wanted to write about what i dreamt. it was weird seriously. i dreamt that i was going up a stairs, & every little steps i make i actually found a 2 dollar note. i went up 2-3 steps again..& i found another 2 dollar note. and it goes on. really its weird. how i wish it was real. && the funny thing is, i used the money to buy chicken rice. SO ya, i woke up with that tender chicken taste in my mouth. Man..i must be starving cos ive been dieting. All i ate was bread and nothing else, i mean for this weak. maybe that explaiins why im tired always. No meat. tsk. && later i swear im gonna get mee soto or rice..hahaha..

2009-08-13T00:49:00.002+08:00

training was tiring today. i reached the gym at 6.45 and had a 45 minutes jog && later proceeded to training. training have been super vigorous for me but i did mnanage to lose some weight. yay? shoukd i be happy or what? good luck for me this sunday. wish me luck people.

2009-08-12T15:21:00.000+08:00

Three names I go by:
1. efasha
2. efa
3. fasha

Three jobs I have had in my life.
1. coffee club - waitress
2. swensens - waitress
3. dejavu fiberwig - beauty promoter

Three Places I have lived
1. bishan
2. yishun ave 6
3. yishun st 21

Three Favorite drinks
1. bandung
2. water
3. grass jelly

Three TV shows that I watch
1. channel newsasia
2. America's next top model
3. the jury's

Three Places I Have Been
1. Japan
2. penang(malaysia)
3. phillipines

Three people who e-mail/Facebook me regularly
1. alot
2. of
3. people

Three of my favorite restaurants
1. Swensens
2. Fish & Co
3. seouls garden

Three friends I think will respond
1. not
2. so
3. sure

Three things I'm looking forward to
1. nothing
2. at
3. all!!!!!!

Three Places I would like to visit
1. thailand
2. korea
3. more places in japan

daddy bought me a new phone. thanks daddy. =]

breaking down.

love?

2009-08-11T22:45:00.001+08:00

i didnt mean for this thing to happen, especially to myself. why am i soo dumb. so stupid. knowing that this thing is gonna happen, i still risk it to know more. Curiosity kills the cat especially if you'e talking about feelings and emotions. curious on what he feels for you. or even curious what he's gonna do. curious about whether the future is gonna turn out good. we plan the future, but god determines it. seriously im so emotionally beaking down. it happened right infront of my eye. this is so sad.seriously i dont know what to do... dont know what i should do to keep myself away from it.

Dear Boys....please watch.

2009-08-10T12:02:00.000+08:00

i think guys should watch this && understand...=]

daddy's day

2009-08-10T10:43:00.004+08:00

my bro
my sister

sister's fiance

one big family

my sisterr && her fiance

mum & dad

Today's highlight: Happy 55 birthday to my daddy!!.. May your future is gonna be better than yesterday. I know you're having some financial problems now, i cant help you much cos im still your little diamond. but no matter what im here behind you to be there if you need a listening ear like how you always complain to me about mum and stuffs. May god lower down your temper.. May god opens up your heart to be a better man. Thank you for your support in everything i do like muay thai and stuffs. sometimes i feel you treated me soo special that your moves touches my heart. =]..happy anniversaire..

NEXT! JENG!

Im having pimple outbreak...man its been succha long time since i got pimple outbreak. My last was during O levels for goodness sake! urgh. that somebody came back to singapore && im here to surprise him with my pimples.tsk..tk glam laaaaa.... && oh yea...yesterday i met my coffee club friend(my first job) over at raffles city..&& i thought shes gonna say "eh efasha...you look soo different! i couldnt recognise you..." but instead....she said..." hello efasha.=].. you look so fat already..." -_________________-... I swear the wires in my brains abit sot when i heard that.. wahliowww!!!!!!!!!!!! so drama mama...

NEXT! JENG

ok next.. had dinner over at seoul garden with my family today since its daddy's birthday.. was kindda ok la...sadly it was my first ever time eating over at that place. i know kental...hahhaah. haha..JENG!

Up Up && awayyy!!!!!

2009-08-08T00:07:00.003+08:00

i caught "UP" in actions just now at The Cathay with sissy just now..and it was super duper cute and funny!!!!!no regrets buying the tickets from sheila.. thank you la sis! && to my sis i hope you enjoyed ya day today.

After so many days, the heart stop thumping hard. i saw the way you walk. i know its you..i knew it. you have no idea how freaking much i missed you. =[... at least, you talked to me, ask me how am i and stuffs. im sooo smiling from ear to earr.....hais..=]]]]

happy anniversaire!

2009-08-07T00:16:00.002+08:00

Happy 16 Birthday to dearest sissy. may your wishes come true. May god give you great future ahead. May u pass your o' levels. May you enjoy sucess in the future.=]...Dont smoke cos its not good for you.

Anyway.. had dinner at lau pa sat just now. its been quite some time since we ate a feast together as a family.. && ive planned to go watch "UP" with sissy tmr at The Cathay. My treat!..hehehe

Because im a girl

2009-08-06T11:07:00.000+08:00

i heard you're coming back today. Wow.im shocked. && This made my heart pound a lil bit too fast. Im not that excited, just...i dont know. whaatever shitty feeling im feeling right now, im trying so hard to put it at the back of my mind. its soo difficult. because im a girl.

i'll promise you guys that this is gonna be a nice music video. its in korean, but maybe you cn just take a look at the video.enjoy.

2009-08-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

we had class bonding at East Coast Park today.class was cancelled. breakfast(mcdonalds) and bikes were sponsored. yay...urm.."sort of" enjoyed myself, atleast this is 1 of the better outings we had. so friends ( the usuals) how about skating at east coast park? amacm? k? haha

Mum sighed. when a mother sighed, it means something. i dont really like the sound of that.

RACIST BARSTARDS

2009-08-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

im sooo pissed i swear.. why? cos ive been searching for job but all the articles stated.." must be able to handle mandarin speaking customers" like wtf?? ofcorse i understand mandarin..i can speak alil bit of em..but i dun think its suitable for working environment.. && why the hell do we need to be able to handle chinese customers for? dont tell me theres not even a single chinese worker la! && dont tell me the reason that there are more chinese people coming to singapore...cos they should be the one learning the international lnguage. not us, learning their language. this is sooo fucking racist la...Then what happen to the malays and indians in singapore?? jobless issit??! i dont think we should learn chinese la..maybe we should la..but iits not a MUST what.

Last 2 days i went to this shop at plaza singapura called "NET" and theres a sign saying..part timers needed..so i went in and ask whether they still need part timers..and the workers said.." OH SORRY, THIS IS A TAIWANESE SHOP..WE ONLY ACCEPT CHINESE." i swear i was fucking pissed. i needed a job badly to supprt myself and not depend on my family. but wtf..THIS IS SUPER FUCKING RACIST LA!!! RACIST ASSHOLE..IF ITS A TAIWANESE SHOP THEN WHY BOTHER OPEN AN OUTLET HERE IN SINGAPORE????? THIS COUNTRY IS A MULTI RACIAL COUNTRY WHAT!!! barstardsss...

2009-08-03T14:32:00.001+08:00

my blog is under construction right now..so abit funny liow. ok nvm. im in stoopit design class again.lucky me ive done my work early...so ive been busy playing counter strike. haha.. i wanna go home fast.. GO HOME.

2009-08-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

will update the blog next time

go away.

2009-08-02T00:38:00.002+08:00

i thought you said you're coming back? i thought you promised my sister that you'll come back? You said you'll come back to play tag teams with us again? Then why now you're not coming back already.???? ive been counting.. its almost a month now, But sadly i received the news that you're not coming back.. what the fuck seriously.. what the fcuk... this is soo....ok im fucking speechless.I shouldnt have that feeling in the first place.. i shouldnt have. this is succha stoopit mistake. you seriously have no idea how much i missed you...you seriously dont... you can just freaking go. dont come back.

2009-07-30T12:25:00.002+08:00

i had weight traiining before the padwork yesterday. the physical trainer focus on many important parts that need to be worked on yesterday. && now im having muscle aches all over. its not that i want muscles or abs or wadever, its just to train on my arm and leg power u see, incase you dummies think that i want buffed body or smoething. haha. i can barely lift my legs and hit the pad yesterday. && what more...i had soccer training in school yesterday && that was before m.t training. soccer training wasnt tough though, we ran 12 rounds around the field, and i find that a good warm up. =]. and some possesion training.

&& dear torres..when are you coming back to singapore again?? haha!

meet my little sister and little brother

2009-07-29T15:32:00.003+08:00

we were bored so we decided to fool around=]]

2009-07-29T12:08:00.000+08:00

Im glad that im strong mentally. i dare admit it. maybe not emotionally. maybe everyone is weak emotionally includin guys. Times have been hard for me right now. maybe its abit too late to write about this but hey...now i feel like bloggin about this. I bet everyone have gone thru family problems perhaps about money or maybe some disagreements between parents, between husband and wife. Have you gone thru family violence? have ya? i tell you its hell. imma family type of girl. i spent many moments with family more than friends, maybe its because how im brought up. Mum and dad have been very strict with us girls. we're not allowed to go out late night,or do some things girls nowadays do. so i guess in a way i dunno how to make new friends. im more of an individual type of girl. i spent most of my time at home or should i say..gym. my life schedule wasnt the best or something i expect it to be. its boring and it repeats everyday.the same whole damn thing. but hey im glad im able to go thru all this. im patient about hw im controlled all around. Im patient about not having best friends, or close friends or a group of friends around me. but hey, im repeat im soso glad im able to go thru this.

i looked at my mum, oh how so difficult for her to do all the housechores, from the laundry, cooking..everything. talking is so much ez. emphatizing and symphatizing.so chicken feet, i bet i cant do all these stuffs. & dad..how tough he had to work to give us food, everything we have here, thanks to dad. but when these 2 souls quarelled.. i wouldnt knw how i should react. im not shy to say, my mum is a victim of family violence. my mum is a victim of being shout around by dad. maybe its because dad is hot tempered. when mum gets beaten, gets punching or kicking..all i could do is protect her, i dare say im the braver one among my siblings. none of em dares to help except me. im nt bragging. but its true. i dont mind get beaten up along with mum. all i want to do is to protect. when you love someone && you protect her, you dont feel the pain at all. cos its from the heart. && ofcorse i do feel angry that dad acts without his brains properly adjust, but maybe he got his own reason. i dunno maybe its jus an excuse for me to feel better. so everytime this thing occur, i dunno who to blame. how i should react. what i should do. this is so frustrating.irritating. confusing. cos i wuldnt wanna blame any of em..after all they're my parents && i love em no matter what happens.

i used to pray that god would take away their lives faster cos hate them for overprotecting me, for showing me family violence, for being unfair to me, for many things. i prayed but god never show any positive signs. then later i dont believe in god. even untill now, im just confuse, too confused with life. as i grow older, i could probably adapt to this kind of situationn. NOT all girls and boys can go thru all this. some land in girls/boys home..some jail. some in the streets. it happens..but gladly for me..im strong. i pick muyself up. and continue with life. think positive. atleast i got my sister to talk to, an education that made me think better and maybe i dont have lotssa frens or close frens but some frens are worth talking to. im so glad. im thankful. im positive. =)

&& you should too. =]

2009-07-27T10:05:00.000+08:00

EFASHA WILL BE BACK SOON...

Baan Nak Muay

2009-07-24T21:56:00.003+08:00

I'll be going to BNM (Baan Nak Muay: home of fighters) on sunday for my next fight. My heart is beating realy fast right now.haha.
&& i heard its a very nice gym.looking forward to go there. =]]
wish me luck my friends. =]

2009-07-22T17:32:00.003+08:00

Masato Vs Tatsuya Kawajiri

ive been wanting to see this guy's fight. he is ever so hot and charming with i think a cute girlfriend..school's comp lagged soo much that it takes almost 2 hours to load this video.tsk!

2009-07-20T13:26:00.003+08:00

I wanted to go out to window shop & chill on saturday..but all of the usuals were busy. tsk..i had to waste my saturday just like that.. but i manage to spend sometime with sissy on the sunday & man & go check.check.check it out..the harry potter and the half blood prince. great effect. good plots where they combine love scenes. magic fight scenes and many2 more. but the ending ends abit weird. theres no ending at all. the ending gantung babe. & yes..dumbledore died. tsk. && check.check.check it out!!! ron weasley's body.."bloody hell!"..tsk3...

&& now..again..as per usual..at the oh sooo boring design class. the very troublesome class..i hate schooL!

2009-07-18T22:52:00.001+08:00

i shouldnt have read my older posts..now im feeling all irritated. im missing him. tsk.

2009-07-18T12:07:00.001+08:00

my leg's itching right now, to go to training. i shall now go bath and off to the gym..=]

2009-07-17T13:05:00.002+08:00

im kindda sleepy right now, wanted to sleep but neh, i'll jus stay awake n blog cos later i'll be going for training.

ive spent my salary money && now, i passed my card to mum cos i dowanna spend it animorre. i got myself some pills and lets see, la roche posay face wash and moisturizer. =] i like. && oh ya..big sissy bought me a hp after succha long time not having my own one. she bought me a hello kitty china hp. hahah..although its china hp, its cute and gives out lotssa colorful light, touch screen, able to insert 2 sim card at 1 time + a 1 gb memory card. cool aye. haha.but no tv la. hahahha..simple yet cute and adorable.

i guess, its just 1 sided love. im almost giving up right now.hais.

stick with what you want

2009-07-16T17:53:00.003+08:00

i know what i want. && i should make sure that i work real hard for it. i should stay discipline. Know & stick to my priorities well, don't care what people think cos what matters is, i know what i want & how i should achieve it. no pain no gain. i should always bear in mind that my own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.

Focusing my life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of myself. and ofcorse it will leave me unfulfilled. so... i should just stay focus. eventhough i KNOW there are many barriers, people tend to say and talk & keep questioning me..so what? i guess, a successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. oh well, what i should do now is...

stay FOCUS && know my PRIORITIES.

2009-07-15T11:58:00.003+08:00

If i were you, i would have file a divorce case right now. For over your marriage life , tell me, how many times have you got beaten? i bet its countless. Is this what you've always wanted after getting married? who witness you getting beaten all the time? me. from a toddler, to a child and now till imma teen, ive witness many dramatci episodes between you 2.. So what are you waiting for, just get a divorce.

im at the edge of giving up.tsk

marriage.NO WAY

2009-07-14T23:52:00.002+08:00

Marriage. to combine 2 souls into 1.
Marriage. to love. to be loved.to have love. to make love.
Marriage. The best moments anyone could ever imagine.
Marriage. Equals heaven.
Marriage. God's gift.
But, to my point of view..
Marriage is disgusting. horrible. a gate to hell. a way to many different problems. Financial, social, mental, emotional and many many hell issues. a path that leads to many different hard core deep great depression. marriage the only war where you sleep with the enemy. The only war you go thru that makes you face your enemy everyday. the only war that will drag you to hell.
It made me hate men. hate wanting to do house chores.hate wanting to have children. hate...LIFE.

freaks..

2009-07-13T23:37:00.006+08:00

My wrist hurts so much, or should i say, my whole arms feel like its coming off. i didnt get a gd night sleep yest cos these arms are driving me nuts. tsk. i wonder how im gonna do my pull ups tmr.im gonna fail! urgh! Thanks to the amazing trainer..Petch! tsk. no doubt he's succha great trainer. =]

Right now im going all kuku. i hate it when this feeling comes, it just wont leave me alone. it will hunt me thru my sleeps, my journey to school, my trainings...everywhere! i beg you, stop dragging me to this hell. grr.

they knocked our door. it was a normal knock at first. we took a peek at the hole, there was 3 guys. 2 really big guys with coats on. We thought they were just normal door-to-door promoter,so we ignored. then later, the knock got really hard like ykno in those scary movies where the muderers come hunting you down & knock on your door real hard. it freaked us out. what freaked us even more is, i heard the gates opened, && i heard keys, they're opening our doors. We ran, ran into our rooms && llater they got into our house! can you like imagine.they got in.those freaks got in! && talked to our sis, they surveyed the whole house, charging our 2000+ plasma tv- 200$ only, our sofas,table tops- $50, and whatsoever things they could find, chargin them at the lowest price they could and leave the house,leaving a note behind. tsk..

times getting real bad.

2009-07-13T13:17:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday to my dear brother..AMEZ!!! you've been a great bro and a friend who is always there for a listening ear. may you'll live your life to the fullest, stay happy, && maybe who knows, YOU && (me) will be 1 great fighter 1 day. ahha =)

Today, is the exact 1 week of your absence, && truthfully, i cant really adapt to the new environment. But its ok, thankfully im old enough to understand the word "endure" or maybe "patience". tsk. oh yes, by this time i remembered having all my brain juices all shaking, thinking about whther i should skip school && send him to airport or not. tsk fah, ure bloody ridiculous & silly hor. tsk!

Now, its Design class again! the boring class, where all the computers strt to lag, or restart, where all students starts to blog or facebook or ebuddy or whatsoever, where teachers somtimes have no idea what they're doing. wahliow. tsk!

2009-07-10T09:12:00.001+08:00

Im in school right now doing Designs again. && the teacher is being succha __________. + the computer is super effing slow.tsk.irritating siaaa

lalala

2009-07-09T23:35:00.003+08:00

My sis && I misses him.tsk. the _____ was soo quiet. hais. *look thru pictures* tsk.

nothing much happened today, i came to school && did my Designs assignment. I did it with my heart && soul.i find it nice & preety, but the teacher didnt praise my work though. i think shes blind. hahhah. Its been quite a long time since i did Designs, cos ive been a very lazy girl. thats the reason why i was fired from work.tsk! && later met sissy at the mrt station && off i go to training. well she promised me that shes gonna train tomorrow, && she better do! tsk.

aniway,though muay thai have made me get into shape better, i think im getting fatter nw, as in ykno, ive gain alil bit. i need to work more on my tummy. Dont you want abs efa?? DO MORE PUSH UPS!!

(whats with the pcd jacket fah? but i love those boots!)

Khit Theung Kun

2009-07-09T03:45:00.004+08:00

I wonder...
i wonder if you're thinking of me like how im thinking of you right now,
I wonder...
if you miss me like how i miss you,
I wonder...
if you've going thru the pictures like how i jus did,
I wonder...
are you happy there or are you gonna be happy..here?
I wonder...
if all this is just a lie, a hallucination. a trance?.
I wonder...
if all the positive turns out to be the negative & the negative turns out to be the positive.
or maybe there werent any?
all i can do is smile, cos smile conquers every lil feeling im feeling right now, does it works the same to you?
do you even smile going while going thru the kodaks? cos for me, im grinning too much that i'll look like a mad woman...here..aniwhere.

WHAT A DISGRACE!

2009-07-08T23:43:00.003+08:00

I slept at 12 am yesterday, ate my medicine && went to sleep (shockingly, i am able to) then the next day..i woke up...& then.. & then..JENG! & then............. i saw the clock..JENG!!! it was...JENG! 3pm!!! wahh...hahhahaha. ive never woke up that late before.. i swear. haha.ok the end.

I sort of able to cope with the current situation of P not being there. sort of.

Aniway, as i took a ride home on my dad's motor, we passed by this mosque called the Sultan Mosque. && I suddenly got angry cos it reminds me of an incident that happened there && it goes like this..

It was a hot sunny afternoon, my sister && i had a window shopping somewhere over that sultan mosque area, && so we were holding hands (we always hold hands when we go out) while walking pass that mosque. && it was about 4.30 pm && tt was the time where muslims had to pray. so back to the story, we were bolding hands && there was a bunch of malay guys, around their 20's saw us && said in malay..: "EEEeee ape ni maksiat, pompan pimpin2 tgn."
which actually means " eee..what sinful deeds are you guys doing? girls holding handsss.."
like what the toot? pardon me if im like harsh k. you guys dont even know what kind of relationship we have and you can like spout anihow. I suggest you better not be a muslim la cos you're a disgrace to our society. Dont even bother going to the mosque cos its a waste of your time.. "na'uzubillah minzalik!!" tsk!

2009-07-08T00:19:00.003+08:00

The moment i stepped into the gym, i stucked my head out a lil bit to take a peek at our tv corner, where he always spends his free time watching tv. But sadly, he wasnt there, like duh. Training was ok, but was abit tired maybe its due to my flu. My wrist hurt so much that i cnt do my push ups && burpeez properly. This is very very irritating. && another news! i just got fired. not because i did anything wrong, its because ive not been coming to work for 2 weeks, i lied saying that i got a sprained ankle. i had to cos my time left with him was limited. this sucks. haha.& now, i had to find a new 1. =]

2009-07-07T15:46:00.002+08:00

I woke up from my nap, && realised that i miss you so much that i even dreamt of you. Only god knows how much i miss you right now. =[. It was wonderful that god made me sleep && met me to you while i slept. =]....

H1N1

2009-07-07T13:31:00.006+08:00

It was a fine morning, i got woke up by mum sudden scream. she does that sometimes to wake me up. My eyes were half open, red. My head was heavy, thus i gave a lil knock right at the side, My nose were blocked due to the minor flu i had. Had a shower && a splendid breakfast which includes 2 half boiled eggs, 2 peanut butter sandwich && packed a banana for lunch later && off i go to school, half-heartedly.

As i walked down towards the school compound with a tissue on 1 hand && vicks inhaler on the other while sneezing, i saw this guy pasting a note on the school gate stating something like this, "students with any kind of flu are not allowed to enter the school compund".so ya something like that. that indian guy took a glance at me && i ignored && i continued walking into the school towards the foyer. SO me && my big mouth go like," Im having a slight flu, iizit ok? its just a minor 1" && the person gave me a mask got me to write my personal details && vola i was sent back home!! Toot...could have slept longer right? i walked out of the gate wiith the mask on my hands + tissues + inhaler = people staring at me (mrt, walkways, aniwhere!). && my friends was like, "EII, i shall not come near you." see? how this bloody H1N1 is affecting people's evryday life. this is irritating!

so i had to go to the doct with mum. && yes! i asked for some sleeping pills due to my bloody insomnia. yay?!..

OFF TO TAKE A NAP..ZZZzzzZZZzz

BUCK UP!

2009-07-07T02:42:00.003+08:00

Its 3 am. && im still not asleep. This insomnia thinghy is bloody irritating. i bet P is asleep by now. sleeping happily. im starting to miss him already, but what the hell, im not supposed to be thinking of him. ok stop!

ok aniway. i was youtube-hopping && suddenly vola! i saw my previous fight at bia gym. man, i fight like a newbie man. i suck. infact i am a newbie. oh cmon efasha.! BUCK up! train harder.ran more. kick better, fight better! dont be a loser! Stop k-k-ing, stop s-s-ing., stop day dreaming! stop thinking about unnecessary stuffs! && start concentrating more! dont be a coward. cmon buck up!!!!!!!!

(im in red with black shorts)

Untitled

2009-07-06T22:08:00.003+08:00

as you walk down the departure gate, my vital organs start to pump faster. i just couldnt get my eyes off from your sight. I couldnt believe how that 2 months past by soo quickly. I hope you'll come back soon. But at any time you feel like not coming back cos youre happier there..then im happy for you. Just so you know, im gonna miss you like hell in the future. You've been a great friend here in singapore. Who else do i got here in the gym? you and the rest of the trainers. You made me feel like a part of the family. You made me look forward for training.
People bad mouth, thats what they do, thats what they live for. Thats what theiir mother taught them.People like you, maybe dont caree what they say. thats what i like about you. People cant see others with extra attention. Many people condemned me, but not you. You're somehow like a brother. but idk. fcuk.

Im gonna miss you

2009-07-06T11:34:00.003+08:00

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
by Robert A. HeinleiN

& yes, im prtly happy that youre going back to take a look at your family. I'll be longing for your return, && now i'll commit to the waiting time. Im gonna miss you so much. =[[[[[[[

Right now, im thinking very hard on whether to go to school or not. i really want to sent him badly to the airport. He'll be at the airport by 5. *sob hard* help me god. I was planning on going to school then later skip some classes n go straight to golden mile. =[ fcuk la fcuk!!!!!!

2009-07-05T03:04:00.002+08:00

this is my 2nd post for the night. ite half an hour to 4 && im not asleep yet.
i just couldnt believe its 1 more freaking day. im soo sad that i feel like breaking down. *sob hard* && it sucks that i sprained my wrist badly.cheebs. i sprained when i was doiing padwork just now. fcuk la. so many bad news.

i wonder...will you ever come back.will you miss me. will you remember all those english words i taught you. will you remember....me?

bad news

2009-07-04T23:55:00.003+08:00

Love is like a sprained ankle...it hurts, but you keep walking on it to see if it gets better.
by Keagan

im holding back my tears && that crumpled feelings in my stomach. im left with 1 more day to spent my time with him. urgh i feel suckish now. ive once go thru that ns stage, didnt really pass that stupid stage && now worse! he's off to a very far far away place for a very very long time. hais. can somebody like pat my back or smt? *cry.scream.kick chair.punch my own face.bang head on the wall.bleeding*

sissy can you please spread your fever to him pls? pls.pls.? hahaha! k i was joking actually. && my dear friend ajim is going to ns on tuesday, the next day after his absence. so sad. no 1 is gonna go out with me when im bored. =[. what a year man....

&& another bad news, school is reopening.urgh that sucks even more. i received my warning letter last 2 days regarding my sports & wellness. i was expecting some other subj like events or smt. geez...

im gonna miss him so so so much.=[

Hold me tighter && never let go.

2009-07-04T01:01:00.016+08:00

how i wish yesterday could be my everyday routine. can i like pause that very moment another time? pls? *make sexcited face* && like how i've wished && imagined, our ~~beach date~~ was super fun & memorable.

more picts coming up.! (frm another camera)

*am waiting for the photos to get uploaded, both here && fb..so slow.! pffft! maybe i shall upload more tomorrow. the system is acting like a mathafucka.

&& did i mention? we love each other very much

cheers bros!

We're like brothers & sisters despite our race && language

We were playing tag teams. both of the girls got captured by the guys. haha. look at how i got strangled.

I swear i love this photo. That guy on the right look like as though he's modelling for levis' jeans. haha! he's my thai teacher.

Beach "date"

2009-07-03T00:50:00.002+08:00

&& now ive heard with my own ears, boy im so glad that you really thought about it. =]. But ofcorse, i'll never hold you back from going home cos thats where you belong. you've got a whole bunch of family and friends there. i know how much you really miss them. dont worry, i understand although, ofcorse, im upset about the part you had to leave. =[

Ive decided to bring our dear trainers of to Sentosa! My favourite place! they'll be going back on monday && i guess im gonna bring them out && experience our very own singapore sea.hahha. && not forgetting the cable car ride && plus my favourite, sky ride n' luge. i hope we're gonna have great fun there. && thanks again to ajim for lending me your camera. *thumbs up*

Love turns everyone into a poet

2009-07-02T11:25:00.003+08:00

Every day has been so short, every hour so fleeting, every minute so filled with the moments I love that time for me has fled on too swift a wing. Im left with 3 days? tell me how fast this can really go? I've always knew we had that spark. I've always knew how scared we were to tell each other how we felt. i've always knew that you wouldnt want things to get so obvious. i've always knew that you have 2nd thought about going home. && till i heard that last phrase, i was so glad that atleast you've gave a thought about it. You've not said anything, but like i said, i knew. Its written on your face boy. && today, you've made me smile again. =]

fear

2009-07-01T00:07:00.007+08:00

Love made us see the positive side of oneself. Putting aside all the negative. My mum used to say," when you love a person, even the moon seemed to be as beautiful as the stars. Even a beast looked like a beauty." I shall agree with mum. Dont you?

Not an utter. not a smile. not a look. till the last minute. I guess you && me dont want things to get too obvious. What happened to us. The old us where we used to chat till training starts, without even wanting to change to our attire && train? The old us where we used to run all the way to flyer, and enjoy the scenery, pull each other's hand not wanting to let go when we're lack of breath? We hint each other very much. I dont think im thinking wild imaginations anymore, i bet its true. There's just something between us. maybe both of us were scared. both of us feared. Its the - Fear of rejection. You're barely gone, in less than a week. gone for maybe more than a month, or worse never come back...

maybe you guys might wanna take a peek at me padworking. haha. =) take care

Its just my Emotions

2009-06-30T13:40:00.003+08:00

Its 2 pm now. ive not had a shower. && im deciding on whether to go to training or not. This sux la. Im just confused all over. My emotions is running preety wild i guess, && im just wondering how to get rid of it. I've managed putting myself to sleep yestersay && im glad about it. Im just tired to do anything. work.school.infact the mood of going to school just creeps me. school sux, i swear. its as boring as maths. urgh.

&& oh yah, im quite contented with my body now. not as many fats as it used to have. yea. aniway, when school starts, i would wanna start going to football trainings. i bet my soccer boots is upset cause ive not been using it for months. P's gone by then, && so i dont think theres any reason for me to rush to gym. I shall enjoy football trainings from now on. =)

now(only now), i wished to get stranded all alone in an unknown island, where no one can get in my way of doing anything. able to smell the oceans, hear the sound of the waves, and feel the cold breeze by the night.able to glare and stare long at the moon and stars, hear the crickets singing && leaves rustling....

NO MERCY

2009-06-30T00:12:00.004+08:00

everytime when u joined a club/association/contest/competition or become a member of anything, or whatsoever! there will always be politics going around, rumours about you or whatever nonsence. agree? People just cant looked or stand at every single xtra effort that u make, they'll always wanna get up to the top && pull others down. They wanna be the "only one". But playing poilitics with me? people just dont know how experienced i am with politics. i repeat, i just couldnt deny this, espcially this, that im very experienced with politics. you can do anything, with what? words? actions? rumours? whatever, theres nothing that you can do to bring me down. silly girl. every single xtra effort ive made, is so much extra strengths needed. you know nuts. so dont mess with me.

my heart stopped for a moment. that moment seemed to be like forever. it wouldnt give any mercy to me. *shout.scream.kick chairs* chiep jai jing jing

proong nee

2009-06-28T22:58:00.008+08:00

proong nee... chun dtong laa gorn proong nee... chun dtong jaak ter bai: Tomorrow..I have to say goodbye. Tomorrow...I have to leave you.

mai roo... ja eek naan suk tao rai yot duang jai ja glub maa jer: I don`t know...how much longer it will be. We`ll meet again.

I was doing this post halfway yesterday cause i was feeling abit drowsy. i had ma sis to switch off the comp in the middle of the night.

The fight yesterday over at our very own gym was super exciting although there was no opponent available for me. There were many supporters i should say. very supportive supporters. && our very own fighters have made us proud. 99% of us won the fights, && indeed im very very very proud. Many of em improved alot, able to make me watch their match without falling asleep. =)

&& later after the fight i went out with Amez . cos i didnt know where to go. The rest didnt had any plan, so ive decided to chill somewhere with Amez. he's a great guy, one whom i express all my problems to. he's such a great person i tell u, eventhough he's age is soo like 10 years apart, he understands me well. we end up at punggol, chilling by the sea,looking at the boats,feeling high, glaring at the night sky.. how i wish P was there *sob hard*, beside me .. Man i tell you, what a night, what a scenery. very nice. =))

&& before i forgot..thank you ajim for lending me your camera. =))

Anyway young lady *to whom it may concern* i guess you love playing politics with me && i think you're messing with the wrong lady.

feel like giving up dude. i swear

Tirak! Tirak! =]

2009-06-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

I came early to gym today && decided to spring clean our gym since there's fight tomorrow. && there i go wiping the mirrors, the glass panels, vacuum cleaning the carpet floor & stuffs, feeling sooo excited for my fight tomorrow. Later people start coming for the weighing in, && so i waited..& waited & waited & waited, fell asleep for a lil while, woke up && there!!!! still no competitor..!! maybe the girls got chickened out. im soooo dissapointed honestly. although i didnt show that stoopit cramp face of mine. aniway, There's wide choice of chances out there waiting for me to grab em, so its ok faaaa...

1 week 2 days left fa. dont give up.

Insomnia!

2009-06-27T08:37:00.002+08:00

Weird. super weird. Im up by now. i slept 5 in the morning yesterday. why? cause i couldnt get myself to sleep again. && now im wide awake at 8 in the morning. My head felt soo heavy right now, but the fact that i couldnt get to sleep sucks. Its him again, in my head. I kept having him on my mind whenever i close my eyes. oh this sucks. i hope this end real soon. && i hope i could cope with the situation of him not being here in Singapore anymore. =( Im just worried that i might feel shag or maybe drained out during my fight tomorrow. wish me luck please.

atleast

2009-06-27T00:59:00.003+08:00

super candid. haha. since when mum loves taking pictures?

aniway, numbers continue to decrease again. good things only stop by for only a lil while i guess. =(. Im feeling super effing down today, esp today & i dont know why. probably i didnt have the chance to talk to him. some *____ got in my way. haha. but its ok. im so good at giving myself excuses to make myself feel better. what a talent. im soo multi talented.haha.

1 more days to my next fight. wish me luck friends. for those who's interested to go watch the match, go to golden mile on sunday. its at the 3rd story. =)

loser

2009-06-25T23:14:00.006+08:00

mood: sucks
song: thai songs. hee

its amazing how love can control one's behavior. dont you think so? For love, you're willing to do this & that, able to sacrifice your time, your money or whatsoever. See how great love is? *sigh* Numbers decreasing to single digit. im left with 8 days. im trying my very best to spent more quality times with him. sometimes ~~he drop me hints~~, but at 2nd thoughts, am i going insane? just plain imaginations going wild?

weird. i got lotssa energy for today's training eventhough i slept at 5 am yesterday && im wondering why im still wide awake at this point of time (4am). Maybe im just afraid to go to sleep. afraid that he might appear in my mind again. afraid to say HELLO! to the next morning. afraid that the digits might just decrease more. he's everywhere, when i wanna go to bed, eat, in the mrt, in the shower, or i should say most of the time. i had 2 laps of that (benjamin highway?). If you think its just a plain highway, then try running there yourself, i dont think you'll barely finish a lap. i didnt conquer the highway on my 1st attempt fyi.. my trainer told me i trained real well today, its maybe because im mad at someone, im determined to win my next match or in a nutshell im just ~~unhappy, down and depressed~~

&& i wonder how many pieces of peanut butter bread i ate.( i only eat em when my mood isnt at its best) *count* oh, i think about 8 pieces for today. for breakfast, lunch(got em with chocolate vitamilk), & dinner. almost the whole loaf was gone, dad bought a new 1. && the new peanut butter that dad bought, left with maybe a lil bit. i wasnt at my best mood in the afternoon. i just brought myself back together and go for that jog, felt better after that..threw some tantrums on the ounching bags and pads. i guess im just a bloody loser. im mad/sad about everything. i always had myself to think on the more positive in the instance of me/myself feeling/getting down, eventhough i know its just an excuse for me to feel much more better. =(

aniway, i forgot about the movie i watched with ajim last friday.. : Drag me to hell. wah freaking disgusting la! tsk3. and yes we ate pizza hut also. its been succha long time since i ate pizza. thanks for the movie. =)

& thanks to my sissy for editing my blog skin. =) you're making zoo noises right now even at this time, this hour..*SNORE SNORE SNORE*. so loud. aniway...

khop kun ka mak mak!! chan rak kun!